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Back in the old days, being smooth with the ladies meant having a kill switch installed under the dashboard of your car and flipping on a moonlit country road at the most opportune time. If you were not mechanically inclined you would just write a song espousing the glorious merits of your one-true-love. This is the kill switch on that song.


You're a pretty girl I wonder how you would feel
about a ride with me in my automobile

I'm a gentlemen of that you shouldn't worry
I promised your father we'd be back by 8:30

Though you are lovely, I'll restrain myself
Here. Let me fasten your safety belt.

The road ahead is bumpy, hard and long
Ooh. Turn the wireless up. This is my favorite ludacris song

Mmm-hmmm in the moonlight I should say it's romantic
Let your hair down, no need to panic
I don't mind if you lean in nearer
Whoops. Oh my goodness, I've unhooked your braziere.

And that, my dear, is how I do it
Life is short, no time to waste
I promise on each and every car ride
that you and I will make it, well at least to second base

You're a pretty girl, you look hot... I mean in all those layers
What say you and I unburden you of your cares... and also your knickers

Not only for my sake, I know I'm a man, though
I just thought you'd be comfortable if we went commando

Oh my, you're lovely, nothing will ever come between us
Here, can you hold this? What is it? It's my penis


Oh my dear, there won't be regretting
I wrote my master's thesis on heavy petting
Life's so short, well what do you say?
I think that I...... should service your vajayjay


from Live at the VFW, track released August 14, 2012



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Shane Hickey and His Magical Ukulele... and Jerry Missoula, montana

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